Lately I feel like I have been running an uphill race. I never knew that life could be so exhausting. I am working really hard to be a better, more social and outgoing person, but sometimes I feel like it isn't worth trying. I really want to be that girl. I want to be the friend that everyone wants to have. I want to be the person that people like an trust and want to be around. I want to be more than just a face in the crowd. In my heart, I know that I have friends. Convincing my head of that is an entirely different matter. I know that I need to be learning something from this time in my life, I am just not sure what it is.
I tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting things I don't have. It comes from knowing, recognizing, appreciating and most importantly, believing the good things that I have in my life are good things. It is hard to let myself believe that I deserve the good things in my life. So starting with what I know. I know I have a loving Heavenly Father and a Savior. I know that I have a great family and I sometimes don't appreciate them like I should. I know that despite my best efforts to keep others at bay, I have friends. I know that in order to become better there are things I need to give up and change.
- I am going to quit doubting myself.
- I am going to give up negative thinking.
- I am going to let go of the fear of failure and embrace my dreams and goals.
- I am going to get rid of destructive relationships in my life. I need to surround myself with those who are good and wholesome and uplifting.
- I am going to stop gossiping.
- I am going to stop criticizing others and myself.
- I am going to give up being angry at myself and others.
- I am going to quit turning to food as a way to escape.
- I am going to be more active and less lazy.
- I am going to tell the negative voice in my head to shut up. It is my life and I can be or do anything I want.
- I am going to stop putting off the things that I need to do. Procrastination is the thief of time.
- I will give up the fear of success.
- I will quit being a people pleaser. I can't make everyone happy and I shouldn't have to try.
- I will make time for me and my needs and not just push them aside.