Monday, April 15, 2013

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Part 1

I had an "ah-ha" moment last night.  I had spent some time feeling kind of low yesterday and as I was heading to bed I read a blog that made me stop and rethink some things.  To read the whole blog go HERE.

We live in a world where beauty is shoved at us from every angle.  We are told that we must look a certain way.  Wear the right clothes.  Do our makeup the right way. We have to weigh the right amount and have perfect skin.  Heaven forbid, we have a bad hair day, zits, a little extra weight, or we stay in our sweats all day long.  In this society all of those things are unacceptable. 

 By the world's standards, I am not a beautiful person.  For a lot of my life,  Okay for most of my life this  bothered  me.  It still bothers me more often than not.  But, there was something in that blog post that made me stop and think.  One of the women who answered said this, "Some days it's not easy to see beauty.  It's easier to see that heat and humidity make my skin flush and my hair go crazy. Or that I don't weigh what I want to. Or I just plain don't feel good about myself some days. And then I remember.  When we insult ourselves, we insult God's creation."

WHOA!!! Think about that for just a second.  Never in my life have I thought about it in that light.  When we insult ourselves, we insult God's creation.  That hit me so hard when I read it last night.  It took my breath away and made me cry.  It brought me to my knees and had me pleading with my Heavenly Father for forgiveness.  How many times have I criticized and insulted myself throughout my life?  How many times have I, in essence, said Heavenly Father, you made a mistake with me?  I forget or maybe I simply don't believe that I am a daughter of God.  He loves me and I was made in His image.  How dare I look at myself as anything other than that.  It is pure arrogance that leads me to these thoughts.  Heavenly Father made me. He knows me.  He loves me and I should love myself just as much.

Friday, April 5, 2013

An Unexpected Journey


 My life is crazy.  I look at all of the things that have happened over the last little while and I am amazed at the many times I have seen the hand of the Lord in my life.

My life is not at all the way I had intended it to be. I did not intend to be almost 30 and single.  I did not intend to be almost 30 and have no real idea about what I want to do with my life.  I did not intend to have a niece get married before I do.  I did not intend to be living the life that I am living, but I am okay.

I am okay with where I am at.  There are days when I feel scared and alone and I feel like I will never get further than where I am right now.  On those days, when I feel like the biggest loser,  if I am listening and paying attention, it is then that Heavenly Father offers me sweet relief.  He offers me a word, a thought, an action, or a feeling.  Most of these come through prayer and scripture study, but often they come through another person.  The people that He has brought into my life have shaped me and made me into the person that I am.

I have been blessed with an incredible family that I love and who loves me.  My family is always there for me.  Whether it is my mother who always sees the best in me, even when I forget or my sister who pushes me and doesn't let me quit.  It's my brother in law who is smart and reminds me that it okay to stand out and be who I want to be.  It is my niece who keeps me involved in her wedding plans even when I am wanting to to feel sorry for myself and cut myself off from everyone and it is my nephew who hugs me and loves me no matter how old he gets.

I have been blessed with friends.  Not a lot, but the ones I have are always there for me.  They are good, kind, honest, and caring people.  And even though my friends come and go,  they have left pieces of themselves within me.  Things I will always have with me. I have been blessed with a great church family and I am grateful for all the love and help that they have given me.


And so, even though there will always be hard times and I will always need fine tuning I am who I am.

I AM ME AND I AM OKAY!!!!!