A bit of gratitude

10 days ago, I started an experiment; a display of gratitude, if you will. First, a little back story about why I started this.

Things in my life have not been going the way I thought they should be. I was bitter and angry towards the whole world.  I felt utterly alone and absolutely friendless.  The people I considered to be my closest friends seemed to have abandoned me and forgot that I existed. It felt to me like the only time anyone would talk to me was if I started a conversation first.  Friendship shouldn't be that way.  Friendship should be a two way street. So because of this, my stubborn pride kicked in and I flat out refused to make an effort with any of them.  After all, I shouldn't be the only one making the effort right?  If they really wanted anything to do with me they would put forth some effort too.  These were the thoughts that were bouncing around inside my head.  These are damaging and brutal thoughts.

A couple of days before Halloween, my friend invited me to a Facebook event.  I read through the event and I liked the concept so I decided to try it out.  For the 56 days between Halloween and Christmas you were to pick a Facebook friend and tell them why they were special and what they mean to you.  The outcome was just to spread a little love around. So Halloween night, again feeling sad and bitter I looked through my friends and I said a sincere prayer about who I should involve in this and slowly, name by name, I developed a list of 56 friends. 56 people who needed to know how I felt about them and how they have changed me.

So, here I am 10 days later and I feel less alone than I have in a long time. Has anything changed about the situation? No.  Am I still the one to make the effort? Yes. The one thing that has changed has been MY attitude.  Instead of feeling sorry for myself because of what I don't have, I am grateful for what I do have. I can't wait to see what the next 46 days bring.  :)