Running an uphill race...

Lately I feel like I have been running an uphill race.  I never knew that life could be so exhausting.  I am working really hard to be a better, more social and outgoing person, but sometimes I feel like it isn't worth trying.  I really want to be that girl.  I want to be the friend that everyone wants to have. I want to be the person that people like an trust and want to be around.  I want to be more than just a face in the crowd.  In my heart, I know that I have friends. Convincing my head of that is an entirely different matter. I know that I need to be learning something from this time in my life, I am just not sure what it is.

I tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting things I don't have.  It comes from knowing, recognizing, appreciating and most importantly, believing the good things that I have in my life are good things.  It is hard to let myself believe that I deserve the good things in my life.  So starting with what I know.  I know I have a loving Heavenly Father and a Savior.  I know that I have a great family and I sometimes don't appreciate them like I should. I know that despite my best efforts to keep others at bay, I have friends. I know that in order to become better there are things I need to give up and change.  

 Starting now, I am going to change some things.

1. I am going to quit doubting myself.  
2. I am going to give up negative thinking.
3. I am going to let go of the fear of failure and embrace my dreams and goals.
4. I am going to get rid of destructive relationships in my life.  I need to surround myself with those who are good and wholesome and uplifting.
5. I am going to stop gossiping. 
6. I am going to stop criticizing others and myself.
7. I am going to give up being angry at myself and others.
8. I am going to quit turning to food as a way to escape.
9. I am going to be more active and less lazy.
10. I am going to tell the negative voice in my head to shut up.  It is my life and I can be or do anything I want.
11. I am going to stop putting off the things that I need to do.  Procrastination is the thief of time.
12. I will give up the fear of success. 
13. I will quit being a people pleaser.  I can't make everyone happy and I shouldn't have to try.
14. I will make time for me and my needs and not just push them aside.