Oh what a difference a year can make.
As I sit here today, listening to the music of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir in the background, I am taking the opportunity to reflect on my year. Today is the day before my 30th birthday. Last year on this day I was heart broken, I was bitter, and I was very, very angry. I felt like life had dealt me a rotten hand and I felt like I had no choice but to deal with it. My friend had all but admitted that she liked the guy I was crazy about and he liked her too. I thought I had no friends. I disliked my ward and I had no direction or purpose in the world.
Now I sit here, a year later, and I am grateful for the way things have turned out. My friend and the guy are now planning a wedding and they are so in love with each other and I couldn't be happier for them. They were meant to be together. Through the persistence of some wonderful people I know that I have friends. There are some incredible people in my ward and while I still don't know my purpose or really what direction I am heading, I know that my Father in Heaven has it under control.
I'm learning that it is okay to be sad, but it isn't okay to let it consume me. I am learning to let people into my life again. I am learning to enjoy those peaceful moments when it is quiet. I know that I still have a long way to go. Things aren't always going to go my way. It isn't always going to be easy. I'm not always going to like it. In fact, sometimes I am going to downright hate it. I know though that I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and knows me and what I need. I know that I have been blessed with the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life. I know that I am a child of God and that I am special. I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for me and right now that is all I need to know.
Oh what a difference a year can make!!
